What is it, if not some kind of voluntary servitude, to wait all week long for a Friday evening, a year-round for a summer holiday, a butterfly of happiness that will be put on our shoulders for life?

We see that the idea of a ’repairable self’ has spread from society to young people. Parents are also more controlling and anxious than before. They want to ‘guarantee’ their children’s future. They pass on their own success concerns to their children and are very closely involved with their academic studies. The controlling behavior of perfectionist parents contains both high criticism and counsels children to set high criteria. Children who want to escape criticism from parents and get their approval also adopt these high goals.

Perfectionism is about comparisons. When you compare yourself to someone else, you compare yourself to someone who is not you. The end of this road is always sorrow. Let’s not do that and celebrate our uniqueness. We are not in a race, we are not in comparison: we are beautiful as we are.

The perfectionist’s mind is a high-security prison where people lock themselves. Even though the perfectionist knows that results will not bring oneself happiness, a person would strive for striving. ‘I want this’ is replaced by ‘I have to do this. The perfectionist is in a crisis of enthusiasm: righteousness has replaced fervor, the obligation has replaced enthusiasm. Living is all about doing, and it is wasted unless you constantly add something to it. It doesn't want the journey but wants the target.

Excessive focus on success manifests itself in the form of avoiding defeat. Perfection is actually impossible and can often lead to procrastination behavior. Over the past three decades, perfectionism rates have risen by 30% in Western societies. Today’s generations are expected to achieve the impossible in a professional and educational sense. We think the work we do can define who we are. Our inner voice becomes the color of culture, and the critical tone produces a constant state of unhappiness, inability to please itself. Instead of seeing mistakes as an opportunity to grow and learn, to consider the evidence of not being good enough and to criticize themselves excessively harshly even in the slightest stumble is a feature of perfectionists.

Whatever they do, they don’t feel fully accomplished, so they don’t relax. Self-values are focused on success. Because they expect high standards in others, their relationship is easily broken down. They don’t do things they will fail, they run away from it. They spend a lot of time hiding their flaws, they cannot finish their works. Because of the fear of defeat and the fear of the future, they cannot find peace in their lives. Perfectionism solidifies behavior. It makes us slaves to success.

As parents collect status from the situation of their children, the pressure on children increases. ‘Success! Become successful!’ orders are constantly given. Pressure for success is also perceived in the form of criticism for mistakes. Because perfectionism reduces risk-taking, it also kills creativity and innovation in itself. It is inevitable that a person who constantly looks at himself evaluates and criticizes himself to suffer from depression and anxiety. Perfectionists think that a mistake will make others come to a negative conclusion about themselves. Focusing on mistakes, especially when raising children, leads the child to think ‘I am worthless’.